Ending the "Waiting Game"

Lately I have felt like all I do is sit and wait for my life to begin.
 Before I explain why I feel this way, I need to give a little back
story to show how I made it to this "transition" time in my life.

I had the time of my life in college, and the "real world" seemed so
far out of sight.  I fell in love with biological anthropology my
sophomore year and immersed myself in the study.  After returning from
abroad I began working as a research intern at the Smithsonian
Zoological Park.  Doing cognition research on the gorillas and orang-utans was something I loved, I could never get enough.

Still, I had the nagging feeling that I couldn't see myself doing it
for the rest of my life.  I knew I would love it, but instead of
feeling excitement when I read about field schools it was a mix of
intrigue and distress.  How could I be away from a husband and
children for months at a time? If Dom gets into medical school how on
earth would he have the time to visit? All of my friends seemed to
have their passions and goals.  My best friend planned to be a doctor,
while my other did plan to move to Africa to study primates with the
  fervor I couldn't muster in myself.  Why couldn't I find something I
wanted so badly I'd give up anything?  No matter what interest I had,
all I could think was how much time it would take away from my future
family.  Still, as my senior year drew to a close I began researching
bio anth graduate schools, and plotting the long road to my .
While researching schools I felt dread, not excitement.  Then I
graduated, and reality hit.

I did have a passion.  My passion was just to be the best wife and
mother I could possibly be.  Friends tend to laugh this off and joke
that my only goal in life is to be a trophy wife, but that's not the
case (not that I'd mind!).  I do want to work and make my own money, I just realized that I
would need to find a career that could easily work around a family,
not the other way around.  My mother was a stay at home mom and it was
the greatest thing for me. She always put family first, and I know
that's where I got the passion from.

I spent the summer after my graduation searching for a career path,
until it came to me.  Not being able to eat wheat, most fruits or
veggies, and nuts has made food and nutrition a constant staple in my
life.  I need to make sure I get all my nutrients each day, even with
a restricted diet.  This was something I had experience with, an
incredible interest in, and can be a wonderfully flexible career.
After research and meeting with multiple people in the field, I
decided to continue my schooling to become a Registered Dietitian.
Once I have my license I want to focus on consulting, so I can help
people like me!

So fast forward to today...

Now I am working full time (and then some!) as a medical secretary and
taking chemistry and anatomy classes every evening to fill in the
requirements I'm missing before I go back to school.  Dom and I see each other as often as possible and while it's amazing, I feel like that's part of the waiting game too.  Whenever Dom and
I talk, we make plans for all the wonderful things we will do once we
get to Florida.  We will finally be able to see each other every day!
After two years of long distance, this really does seem too good to be
true.  We always talk about how we want the house to look or what we
will cook and do for fun.  Our life seems so beautiful and full of love
and happiness...5 months away.

This is my very round about way of getting to how I'm feeling now.  I
feel like I'm waiting to finally finish pre-reqs so I can go back to
school full time.  Waiting until August to move to Florida with the
love of my life.  Waiting to get back to hobbies like photography and
cooking that have taken the back burner to school and work.  Waiting
to be happy.

I realize now that I cannot wait! Life now might be more hard than
fun, and more stressful than relaxing, but it's temporary.  I need to
try to enjoy every day for what it is, even if it's just that the sun
is shining and its hot in March!  Life isn't always going to be
perfect, but it's short, so why not live every day God grants me to
the fullest? That's what I promise myself to do! So now instead of being sad Florida is so far away I'm focusing my time left in New York by trying out the recipes I want to make for Dom, and learning how to be a domestic goddess so I'll be all ready when we move in! ;)  Instead of a waiting stage, now it's more of a practice round, if you will.  That's another reason
why I started this blog now, instead of after the big move.  It makes
me happy, and that should never be on the back burner. :)