9.07.2012

That time my boyfriend tried to kill me...again.

You might remember the story about how my boyfriend tried to kill me a few months ago.
Well, he tried it again.
But this time? He made it seem like it was all in good fun.
But I knew better.
It all started our second day in Florida when Dom was on the phone with a mystery woman and I came in to him saying, "What if she gets under the water and freaks?" Followed by a huge grin.
This is never good.
 {See that look? Pure mischief} 

You see, Dom loves to scuba dive and wanted to get his Rescue Diver certification so he can save people like me who would get in the water and flop around and drown.  When he was scheduling the course, the instructor asked him if he had a small child to bring with him to be his "rescue volunteer." aka "rescue dummie."
His response? "My girlfriend is child sized!" And just like that I was volunteered to get strapped in scuba gear and play dead at the bottom of the ocean and wait for him to rescue me.
Except I didn't know that yet.

He told me I would be in scuba gear, but be floating at the bottom of a pool waiting for him to come be my knight in shining scuba gear. I have never scuba-ed (is that a word? Well now it is.) but I figured being at the bottom of a pool was no big deal, it might actually be fun to learn to breath underwater. Plus, the only thing that could eat me in a pool is a filter.

A few days later that pool suddenly was just an alcove in the ocean.  So not a swimming pool, but still a pool.  I wasn't thrilled, but that I could get used to.
Until we got there today and he informed me...that pool? It's actually a big pool.
Called the Atlantic Ocean.
Too bad scuba diving while drunk is frowned upon.

At this point I was nervous but still not convinced that this was an elaborate ploy to kill me.  It was sunny, warm, and besides the homeless people walking around us and the scary terrifying beach we were at it could actually be considered fun.
Then came the first few hours of the course which detailed a million ways people can kill themselves while diving.  I'm sitting there being all breezy and nonchalant per usual but all I can think about is who in their right mind would ever strap that thing on and go diving for fun.
Then the wind picked up and it started pouring.  Then came the thunder.  Then, the lightening.
Then both Dom and the instructor seemed to think I would get into this gear and go in the water.

That's when I knew it was a ploy to kill me.
I started to plan my escape, but soon I was weighted down and staring at the bottom of the ocean floor playing dead.
Plus, Dom and the instructor seemed to think this was all fun! Must be all the weird pressure from being under water.  I was certainly about to die.
But alas, Dom passed the course and actually did come to the bottom to get me and I survived unscathed.

Now? I'm just plotting my revenge.
But hey,
 At least my gear was pink.
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11 comments:

  1. "My girlfriend is child sized"... That's hysterical!
    And you are a very good sport for playing along :)

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  2. That sounds terrifying! No way would I ever do that, props to you for being a good girlfriend haha

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  3. ohh well you have one adventurous boyfriend! sounds like fun though! Have a happy Friday and be sure to enter to win a gorgeous necklace! .

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  4. I LoLed at this post! You are too funny girl. My bf and I actually go diving a lot and once you get the hang of it..it's fun!

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  5. Oh my, I would have been terrified and would have not gone. You are one brave lady!

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  6. Awww...I don't have that much sympathy because it would be fun for me. I can't wait to go scuba diving again! Glad you came out alive and I'm sure your boyfriend is super grateful and proud :)

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  7. Robin you are much braver than me! I don't really eve like sticking my toes in the water! Glad he saved you :)

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  8. You're too cute. I'm a new follower from Wifessionals! :)

    xo

    MacKensie
    mackensieg.blogspot.com

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  9. that was super silly. I'm glad you survived! Boys and their toys...

    My husband rides a motorcycle and he loves it when I ride behind him...but I HATE it. so scary!!

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  10. Girl you are hysterical, seriously. Great post. You and your boyfriend are just TOO ADORABLE. Can't get over it.

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  11. This is hilarious! I wouldn't have been as good of a sport as you! I'm fairly confident my boyfriend is plotting my demise on a regular basis by leaving things around for me to trip over. You guys are adorable!

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