I really wish I had thought to look at your name tag, but let's be real, you and I both know I wouldn't remember it today anyways.
Let me begin by saying that I promise I am usually a very upstanding citizen. I work, go to school, smile at strangers, and am a generally very happy person.
When we met, at approximately 2:12am Saturday night I was not myself.
You might have guessed, but I had consumed a drink or 8.
Usually when I meet someone for the first time, I introduce myself. With you I didn't feel like that was necessary, so I skipped right into telling you I'm really old and boring now and must have forgotten my drinking limit. You could have judged me and sent me away, but instead you laughed with me at my oh-so-classy situation.
Okay, you were probably laughing at me, but we can just pretend.
You see, Saturday night started like any Saturday night. A bunch of people from work were getting all dolled up and going out to Pittsburgh to celebrate a few people's birthdays. I thought I had thought everything through. I met some friends at work, we all piled in one car and headed out together.
We got to the first bar and met up with the group right before they were planning to head to another bar. So my drink went down quickly. You see, Night Guard At The Courtyard Marriott, it was 18 degrees out and I was in a little dress and heels. I was only thinking of the cold when I had that drink! I'm sure your manly self has never had to fight the cold in such an outfit, but you can understand my dilemma.
Once we made it to bar two, I knew I must get warm, and a whiskey shot seemed to be the only way to go about that. Then the nice bartender gave me a double so I had to be nice and take it. You see, it all went down from there.
See, new friend, I have a system when I go out. I figured if I stopped drinking around 12:45 and started pounding water, I would be good to go around 3, which is when we were planning on being back to our cars. However, my one friend (whose boyfriend was our ride) decided she wanted to leave early, when I was in the peak of my whiskey intake. My fiance was at a poker night with the guys, and in a very similar state to me, so as we grew closer and closer to our cars, I knew it was time you and I met.
My friends all offered to let me stay with them, but they all live far away, and I knew you were the one. I had to see you.
As I walked semi-straight up to the desk, you kindly gave me the best rate you could, knowing I'd feel only regret upon waking up. I said thank you, smiled and went on my way, thinking this was the last I would see you.
I headed up into my room and went spread eagle on the bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to stop it from spinning. Moments later, my phone rang. My other savior, Tallie, had woken up to see my thousands of voicemails and was on her way to rescue me!!
Once again, I stumbled up to you and said, "HI I don't know your policy but my friend is rescuing me can I have a refund I promise I didn't touch anything." All in one breath. You laughed again and refunded me for the room, and pretended not to laugh when I tried to text but fell asleep sitting up.
You, my new friend, saved my life by having a room (and my bank account since a night at a hotel is most definitely not in my budget).
Next time, maybe we can try and save my dignity too. If you see it, I think it's on Carson Street somewhere between 14th and 16th.